The Deep Thought Processes Of Alois Trancy
by Hell-of-a-bassy
Summary: Claude recommends that Alois starts writing in a diary, to sort out his feelings and set his thoughts straight. A diary perspective fic
1. Chapter 1

Dear Alois,  
As I have taught you to read and write, I decided to give you this diary. It will not only help farther improve your literacy skills, but also give you an outlet for any feelings you may want to say aloud. I feel it will help with your mental state.

Your butler,  
Claude.

That butler is going to be the death of me. Is he insinuating I have a problem with my 'mental state'? Bloody demon. Whatever, this is my diary, but if you're someone who's name isn't Alois Trancy please kindly fuck off, this isn't your diary. Thanks.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to write in this thing, probably because I'm not a bloody girl, despite what people may think. Yes I DO in fact have very male anatomy for all those gross enough to be thinking about a 14 year old's genitalia. In my opinion,  
you're the one with the disturbed mental state, not me.

I guess I could start this terrible, terrible piece of literature off with something about my past? That's a good idea, maybe that's what's affecting my mental state. Apparently. I'm not saying I am mentally disturbed.

Jim Macken. There I said it. My real name. As a child I was an orphan, I lived on the streets, begging for food. Lots of other children were with me, most around 5. People in our pitiful group died often, from disease usually, sometimes from an infected  
wound or hunger, always with a new orphan to replace them. I didn't really care about living, but the other kids made me eat whatever they could get, keeping me in a weak state, constantly on the verge of death but never quite there.

That was until a boy called Luka joined us. He was 6 years old, young, but certainly not the youngest we'd ever had with us. There was something special in him. As soon as he spoke to me I felt the need to live. Live so that I could make sure he lived.  
I don't know what it was about him that made me feel like this, maybe how positive he was no matter what, maybe the way he smiled up at me when I was feeling so low, it was like our souls were attached somehow.

I continued living for him; I stole from the rich people at markets and gave half of everything to him. Took countless beatings from passers by for being a plague to society. I didn't care, as long as he was safe. I didn't want him to get a single bruise  
on his small body. He became my brother. I was his protector.

Of course I failed, we left the orphaned children on the streets and ran away to a nearby village. The townspeople were cruel and unforgiving, we were both beaten multiple times for simply existing.

There was one woman I distinctly remember. She had a kind smile and kind ways to match. She was the only one I didn't want dead, which takes a lot, trust me.

We carried on like this for half a year, stealing and begging by day, fending off rats and sleeping by night.

That was the best time in my childhood I think, not that the rest was difficult to better. Spending time with Luka was something I always craved when I wasn't with him, and still do sometimes.

That's why his death was so difficult for me to recover from. One dark night the entire village went up in flames everyone but me and the kind lady were burned alive. Including Luka. I found him lying amongst the debris once the fire died down. Limp like  
a doll. Eyes staring into nothing. Dead.

I can't really remember what happened after that, it's a blur of scorn and torture and hunger and disease and poverty and darkness. So much darkness.

What I do remember is my first day at the manor. The Trancy manor. I was taken off the streets by some no doubt well paid servants and put here. Except I was in no way the master of the house. I was treated like I was nothing, which I guess I was. And  
still am.

At first Trancy scorned me for my 'dirty' blue eyes, and I was thrown away with all the other young boys that this sick man kept. Then I realised I could do this. I could seduce him, make him want me, have freedom, get out of this sick place.

So I did. I seduced him, did disgusting dirty things no child should do, got what I wanted. But I didn't have freedom. Not in the way I wanted.

That's when I heard about the fairy in the forest that grants wishes. Turns out the 'fairy' was actually Claude. I still laugh at the image of Claude as a fairy. Imagine him with wings, a little dress, all sparkly granting wishes for any child who comes  
his way.

Okay I'm getting side tracked.

I went to the 'fairy' and was asked what my wish was. I had no idea what to say, I was so shocked he actually existed. So I went back to the Trancy manor, was punished for leaving via that disgusting man's filthy hands on my body and wished again.

I made a contract right there and then with Claude. I'm not going to say what my wish was. There's a chance one of the servants could read this, and I can't let them know what I desire most. It would ruin me.

Trancy just happened to fall ill and die, and I happened to be happened to be Alois Trancy, the heir of the head of the Trancy house. I released all the boys, fired all the staff currently at the manor, had every room scrubbed five times over to get rid  
of trancy's sick smell. Claude redecorated and hired new staff for me, posing as my butler.

And that's where I am now. You are so welcome for that story, I hope I made you cry. I feel very not-mentally disturbed now, so I'm going to go and order Hannah about.

Alois Trancy 

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**A/N So yeah! I've never actually written and published a fanfiction before, and I figured black butler was a good place to start as it's probably what I know best other than Harry Potter. Please give me feedback in reviews as I'd love to hear it!**


	2. Chapter 2

Dear diary,

Yes it's me again, the apparent illiterate poor disturbed orphan we all know and love.

Alois. It's Alois.

Claude is forcing me to write in this damned thing again, as in his words: "two days of keeping your thoughts to yourself can't be good", and to back himself up he pointed out what happened today. I better write about it.

Actually, scratch that, I'll just bullet point it.

\- Weird nice smelling but dirty looking man comes to door  
\- I let him in  
\- Weird looking man turns out to be Sebastian Michaelis (the one Claude always bitches about)  
\- Sebastian Michaelis had Ciel Phantomhive! IN A FUCKING SUITCASE!  
\- All my servants are incompetent and let the man who KILLED MY BROTHER and the boy he loves get away

I will find you, Ciel Phantomhive. I will take away the one thing your butler loves.

Claude has told me what really happened on that night. Sebastian Michaelis burned the whole village down, Luka along with it, then he got another contract with Ciel. Claude also told me that Sebastian loves Ciel, which I think is sick. I've had my fair  
share of dirty old men thanks. But it's okay because I can take advantage of his perverse and take Ciel away from him.

I guess I kind of gave away my demony wish now. Fuck.

Oh well! If any of my servants finds this, I'll just get Claude to kill them! Hahaha!

I hope Hannah finds this.

Alois Trancy 

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**A/N I KNOW ITS REALLY SHORT IM SORRY AND I ACTUALLY GOT REVIEWS THANK YOU SO MUCH! Ciel will be introduced in the next chapter, and don't worry, things will start differing from the actual plot of kuro next chapter :)**


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